


Weak

by Shinigami_Mistress (Southern_Breeze)



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen, Grelliam, Hospital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-24
Updated: 2019-10-24
Packaged: 2021-01-02 16:57:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21165029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Southern_Breeze/pseuds/Shinigami_Mistress
Summary: The attack had been brutal, and Grell had been mortally wounded. William now has to deal with his feelings, although he realizes there is nothing he can do about his past mistakes. Short and sad.





	Weak

Weak.

Grell had never been weak. It simply didn’t describe her. While she might have liked to pretend at times to be the fair maiden who needed to be rescued, she was far from fragile and delicate.

At least, she usually wasn’t.

William stood by the bed staring down at the heavily bandaged figure lying amidst the tangle of wires and tubes like a fly trapped in a spider’s web. Grell’s face was only partially visible, but William could see her makeup had been washed away and the freckles he hadn’t seen since their academy days stand out against the unusually pale skin. Grell would hate to be seen in this condition - weak, without a drop of makeup, and her hair surrounding her hair in a tangled mess like a bloody halo. He could hear her voice in his head.  _ “Look away, darling. I’m a terrible mess. I must look a fright.” _

But Grell wasn’t saying anything.

Her hand peeped out from the covers; the fingernails on those long fingers ripped and torn. He stared down at those fingers as he fought the temptation to take her hand in his own. He just wanted to feel her warmth. He just wanted to know that he still could.

The door opened and William quickly smoothed his face and tucked away his emotions before turning. A doctor William didn’t recognize stepped into the room and gave him a quick yet tired smile. “Hello. Mr. Spears, I presume? I’m Dr. Krager.” He held out his hand to shake.

“Hello,” William replied, as he took the hand. Quickly, he accessed the doctor. He was a short man with thinning blonde hair and slightly ruddy cheeks. The lines about his eyes were evidence he was a man who enjoyed smiling and laughing, although this wasn’t the time to do either.

Dr. Krager stepped around William to move closer to Grell. “It’s commendable of you to be here,” he said, “It’s rare for supervisors to check on their subordinates like this...although I understand this is an unusual situation.”

“We are short staffed,” William stated, ‘I have to know if any of my subordinates cannot fully complete their duties so I can submit the information to personnel.” His answer sounded callous to his own ears, as his mind screamed that he was lying.

He was here for Grell.

Dr. Krager nodded. “Of course.” His voice cracked as he spoke and it seemed as if he could no longer look directly at William as his gaze drifted about the room. “Well, I hate to be the one to say this, but I’m afraid there’s no chance at recovery.”

William’s mask didn’t crack although his eye twitched ever so slightly. “Oh?”

“There was just too much damage. Too many injuries.” Dr. Krager adjusted his glasses. Despite his training, he was rarely needed in their realm as most injuries would heal on their own. Only a few truly required the help of a doctor, and most of them were too far gone.

Reaper doctors mostly saw their patients to let they know they were dying.

“The reports say that Sutcliff here fought off more than twenty demons and manage to kill or injure quite a few,” Dr. Krager stated, “Not many reapers could have done that.”

“No. Not many could have,” William agreed.

“I’m sure Sutcliff will be a legend in our realm,” Krager continued, “The reaper who took down so many demons at once.” He paused before finally managing to make eye contact with William. “Does anyone have any idea why demons would coordinate such an attack.”

“It’s under investigation,” William replied, tersely, “but I’m afraid I don’t have access to that information just yet.”

“Of course,” Krager said. He hesitated for a moment as he reached down and gently touched Grell’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he said softly before glancing back up at William. It was unclear who he was apologizing too. “I just got the order to turn off the life support. That’s why I’m here.”

“Is there any chance Sutcliff will recover once you turn it off?” William questioned.

“No,” Krager answered simply, “I’m afraid not.”

“I see.”

“You may leave if you like,” offered Krager, “There’s no need for you to be here.”

“On the contrary, I should stay,” William said, “I need to be able to report what has happened. Besides, Sutcliff’s records will have to gathered. It would be more efficient if I do so now.” His mind was screaming again as he spoke. While he wasn’t lying, he wasn’t being truthful either. He wanted to be here with Grell in these last few moments, and it had nothing to do with record collection or efficiency. 

“As you wish,” Krager replied. After another moment of hesitation, he began to turn off the machines one by one. He disconnected the IVs before quietly leaving the room.

Leaving William alone.

A part of William had hoped for some sort of miracle - for Grell to suddenly open her eyes and look up at him. It could be like one of those silly romance novels that Grell had so loved, but William was too practical to really believe such a thing would happen. Despite the hope that bloomed so vainly in his chest, he knew the truth. He knew Grell was dying. He could feel it. Reapers could always feel life slipping away and that light that glowed within each soul simply fading. But William had never really paid attention until now.

“Goodbye,” he whispered. His scythe materialized in his hand and he brought down into Grell’s chest to bring out the records.

He had never realized what a violent gesture that was before now.

Records flooded from her body and filled the room. Those from when Grell was human were faded and almost unreadable. That happened to those who were reapers too long. They forgot they had ever been human as they moved on past the point of redemption. Grell hadn’t been there yet, but it appeared she had been close. William, however, weren’t interested in those memories.

His attention was fully on the records since Grell’s rebirth and, as he watched, William saw his face again and again. He had been such a big part of Grell’s existence. It was strange to see himself through her eyes. She saw him in a way that he would never be able to see himself.

As he watched, a single tear escaped his eye and slid down his face before hanging on his chin. He already knew the one thing he wouldn’t see in those records.

He had never told Grell that he loved her.


End file.
